Makeup is a hobby that I really enjoy doing. I don't normally use makeup to impress others, but instead I use it because I like experimenting and playing around with all the products. It amazes me how much fun you can have playing with makeup while at the same time, enhancing your looks. MAC products are one of my main favorites to use. I don't normally use lots of makeup because I am only in high school and I don't feel that I should wear lots of makeup if I don't have to.
Although I love your products, I have experience very poor customer service while at the MAC Pearlridge store. While I was there, on November 13, I felt as if I was being avoided. I attended the store with a friend of mine to buy brush cleanser for brushes I bought recently before that. Its understandable when the workers are helping other customers, so I wait patiently for my turn. One worker was helping another customer with her makeup, and two other workers looked as if they were doing inventory. But, as I waited to be helped, a worker stood behind the cash register. As a person who has been there many times, I have never seen someone waiting behind the cash register unless everyone was being helped in the store by another worker. As I searched around the store, I began to get impatient. I waited around for about 20 minutes to get asked if I needed help and there were very little people in the store so it was clearly visible to see my friend and I just walking around.
After this experience, I prefer to go to the MAC vendor in Macy's because it's much smaller and the workers pay attention to their customers more. I get asked multiple times by many different people if I need help if I attend the MAC vendor at Macy's. If I was to go to the main store, I would prefer to be treated as a prioritized customer. It may be that my friend and I are only in high school to seem that we wouldn't need help but I think that it is always right to ask to help a customer.
I was just a normal customer who wanted to buy brush cleanser. I love MAC products but I hope that I can experience friendlier customer service on the next visits I take to your store.
Sincerely,
Alexis Amian
I really liked how you specified what exactly had happened in MAC during your experience. For example you stated "But, as I waited to be helped, a worker stood behind the cash register. As a person who has been there many times, I have never seen someone waiting behind the cash register unless everyone was being helped in the store by another worker." I thought that, that really enhanced it and will prove to MAC how poor their customer service was and how angry you were. I liked how you said "I began to get impaitent" and "It was clear to see my friend and I were walking around." I also liked how you organized your essay. By first stating how you like MAC products and they are your favorite, then going on to your less than friendly experience ("Although I love your products..."). Then going into the consequences of their actions (you going to macy's vendor instead to the maain store) and then a suggestion for them to do to improve the customer service.
ReplyDeleteI would say that you should not talk so much about the macy's vendor's customer service. Maybe just one or two of good ones like "I get asked multiple times by different people". Your letter would make much of an impact if you gave more suggestions for them to improve their customer service. Maybe you can ask for them to prioritize their employees to always greet customers, or ask them to put penalties on employees who don't do their job.
Hey Lexi,
ReplyDeleteI love your essay and how you kept specifics such as the date. It was good to describe the scene that was going on while you were there, like the workers, "One worker was helping another customer with her makeup, and two other workers looked as if they were doing inventory. But, as I waited to be helped, a worker stood behind the cash register." That really does make your letter stronger.
I agree with Angela that your organization was good when you talked about what you loved about their make-up. then, you transitioned into the problems you experience in the store.
The vendor in Macys doesn't need to be explained. Maybe just some few minor points that showed you preferred them over the MAC store.
In the beginning you stated, "Makeup is a hobby that I really enjoy doing...but instead I use it because I like experimenting and playing around with all the products." You may need to elaborate more on what things you love the most about using their stuff and what importance it is that you get good customer service.
Overall, great great essay and this is a problem that does need to be confronted.
Hi Lexie,
ReplyDeleteNice job on your angry letter. As Angela and Kelly point out, you do a good, specific job of describing your problem and how you would like it solved. You also do a good job of acknowleding the good points about MAC, to balance your statements and to gain greater acceptance of your ideas.
It would be a good idea to include how the situation ended (did someone finally come to help you? did you ask the person at the cash register for help?)
Another part that needs to be improved in the final is "word choice." Some words are unnecessary and deleting them will improve the essay. For example: P2: "recently before that"..."recently" is enough. Or "makeup is a hobby I really enjoy doing"...you don't need the "doing" in that sentence. There are a couple more, so look for them and correct them.
Overall, nice job...almost ready to mail :)
mrs s